yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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