He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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