Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
is that a dick in a sweater?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
