did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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