I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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