shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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