So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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