every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
