I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's just like the Real World with babies
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
