I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
