she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
