I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
