i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
