so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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