They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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