Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
