i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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