I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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