The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
