Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
