dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
