i think my tv is drunk
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
handjob tips. give me some.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
