so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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