So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
