The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
