your room smells of hookers.
And success
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
