I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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