Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize