and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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