somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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