i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
