Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
