i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
