i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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