Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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