You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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