none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
