Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
