I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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