Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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