i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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