I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
