sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do vagina's smell?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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