i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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