worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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