I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
