seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
