You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
