Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
