I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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