are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
