So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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