Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize