Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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