I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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