The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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