Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
