i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
