so that wasnt chicken after all
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
