Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
