just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
